I have a bad back. Not just a little bad back, but a I-need-help-putting-on-my-socks type of bad back.

But, like most men, I hate needing help.

So, this morning, I find myself constantly do things to try and “contribute” around the house. I wash the few dishes in the sink. I pick up the sweatshirt and shoes from the living room. I open the curtains throughout the house.

But, if I’m brutally honest, I’m not doing those things to help my wife and family. I’m doing those things to relieve my guilt.

I’m doing them so I don’t feel like an inconvenience and I can feel better about me. They are totally selfish acts.

After almost 15 years of this painful reality I’m still learning how to let my wife care for me with unconditional love and support instead of having to earn her love.

It’s easier said than done. But I’m still willing and wanting to try.