What does it feel like to have your spouse listen to your feelings without trying to fix you or tell you that you should think, believe, or feel something else?

Well, this week I, Shannon, tell what it’s like for me when I experience this with Paul. You really don’t want to miss my very unique and slightly hysterical description. It really had both of us laughing.

Empathy is so very important when it comes to listening to your spouse. If you can practice having empathy rather than trying to change your spouse’s feelings you WILL experience deeper connection.

Not only that but when you both begin to practice empathy you will both start feeling more understood. And…isn’t that really what you want from your spouse? To feel like they get you. That you are understood. To feel like a “we” and not an “all alone me.”

Another benefit of learning and practicing empathy with your spouse is that you will begin to fight less. I can’t tell you how many times, Paul and I used to end up in fights because he wasn’t listening to my feelings the “right way.” I had no idea that what I needed from him was empathy but what I did know was that I had to fight to have my feelings truly heard. And then, next thing you know, we’d be fighting about how we were fighting and around and around the conflict cycle we’d go.

When Paul began to empathize with me it changed everything. It was like magic. I didn’t have to fight to feel understood and the way that made me feel mentally and physically, well…you’ll have to listen to the podcast to find that out.

When you begin to practice empathy with your spouse you will absolutely fight less, feel understood, and enjoy a deeper connection with your spouse.

If you need some help figuring out what empathy even looks like, listen to the podcast. It’s a great place to start.